


gay fanboy and chum chum world

by hiptothejavabean



Category: Fanboy & Chum Chum (Cartoon)
Genre: I wrote this a while ago but I still like it, M/M, THEY SMOKE WEEF, okay thats all, really just assume all my stuff here is crossposted on my wattpad right now
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-06-01
Updated: 2020-06-01
Packaged: 2021-03-02 18:49:06
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,625
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24481549
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/hiptothejavabean/pseuds/hiptothejavabean
Summary: welcome to. Lenny Boog Gay
Relationships: Lenny Flynn-Boyle/Boog Shlizetti
Comments: 1
Kudos: 37





	gay fanboy and chum chum world

Lenny was doing his normal work routine: standing around with his head propped on his hand pretending to wipe down the counter while he stared at boog and tried not to pass out face first on the tile. He kind of pressed down on the towel when he found a particularly crusty spot, but it was mostly subconscious as he was focused on boog. Boog was trying to set a pair of sunglasses on a display, doing some semblance of work for once, but his sweaty new jersey sausage fingers meant that every ten seconds they slid out of his grip, and he was getting pissed. This culminated in him throwing the glasses on the floor so the ultracheap plastic shattered, and grumbling off to play chimp chomp.

Lenny had to admit it was sort of mesmerizing, even though it wasnt particularly attractive. He knew he was gay, but it took a couple months to accept being attracted to a man this fucking nasty at all. His only hobby was punching literal children, for gods sake.

But it was sort of mesmerizing.

Now that he had accepted it, at least a little, it was just a matter of dating him. Boog was a fucking asshole, so lenny had to tread carefully. Imagining ways to propose a date with boog was a good way to pass the workday, though, so it was convenient.

"HEEEEYYYYY!!!!! LENNY!!!!!!!"

The doorbell jingled, and Lenny yelped, jerking upright and scrubbing hard for a few seconds until he turned his head and saw fanboy and chum chums eyes shoved directly into his.

"Augh!" Lenny bent back. Chum chum was sitting on fanboys head, and fanboy was leaning in closer. Lenny sighed, and left from behind the counter to fill up one of the frosty freezy cups.

He blinked once, and fanboy was standing directly next to him again. Lenny slapped the frosty freezy freeze into fanboys hand, and set to work on the other one, which he handed to chum chum, who let out a polite "thank you!"

Lenny, fanboy, and chum chum stood and stared at each other in silence. Fanboy and chum chum just grinned, and lenny started to sweat.

Finally, he batted his hand in the direction of the door. "Okay, you got your stuff, get out."

Fanboy and chum chum took this as more than an invitation.

"HEY LENNY!!!! WHAT WERE YA STARING AT???" They yowled in chorus, leaning farther over lenny so now he was basically lying on the floor.

"It's none of your business!!" Lenny swatted at them, and telepathically tried to will them to get out.

Fanboy leaned back and let lenny stand back up. Chum chum and fanboy both flashed a little smile, and dashed off.

The next time they interrogated him, it was three days later and Lenny was mopping, but only half mopping, thinking about maybe taking boog out to hooters or something. He probably liked that kind of weird shit, right? God, they lived together, lenny should probably already know this, but boog only ever ate straight cold cuts directly out of the pack. There wasn't a restaurant that would serve those...

Was there?

Lenny heard the doorknob jiggle, and started toward the door. The store was closed, but fanboy and chum chum didn't understand the concept of not being able to get a tasty drink, and wouldnt let him sleep until they got some.

To his mild surprise, fanboy and chum chum (who fanboy was holding in his hands) didnt immediately burst straight in, but instead remained at the door, smiling serenely.

After a brief pause, lenny gestured toward the frosty freezy freeze machine. "We're closed, so be quick about i—"

Suddenly, swiftly, fanboy and chum chum were circling him like lions. They were so short though that rather than being intimidating, lenny was able to just step out of the circle they formed and tap his mop on the ground.

"Stop being so fucking weird—" chum chum was thrust into lennys face.

In chum chums tiny voice, he said, "we've been watching you, lenny."

"Okay," lenny pushed chum chum away.

"And," added fanboy, "we know."

Lenny squinted. Okay, that was weird. What did they know? That he was majoring in computing? His address? His middle name? That he sometimes smoked weed behind the counter with boog?

"Youre in love with boog!!!" They harmonized. Lenny groaned.

"okay, if thats it, i wanna get home, and I—"

"And we have an idea for how to help you!" Chum chum grinned and sort of swayed. The arrangement of this looked like they'd choreographed and rehearsed it, and lenny was tired, but he was gay, so he indulged them.

"Uhhhhh huh."

Fanboy heard the doubt in lennys voice and lurched in towards him. "Ohhhh, you laugh, you laugh." Fanboy began to pace around lenny. "But." He pointed in the air. "We are the love MASTERS. You think we naturally keep the girls off of us? No," fanboy stabbed the air, "it takes years of practice and effort to know love Just. That. Well." Lenny grumbled, but they werent going to leave, so he moved toward the frosty freeze machine and began to pour. "Oh, we're not here for that." Fanboy asserted. "We are heroes, and we're here to save you from the—"

Lenny groaned and handed fanboy the half full cup. "Fineeee. Whats the plan."

Fanboy chucked the cup to the floor and grinned deviously. "Okay, it's really good. First,"

The next day, lenny was doing his normal beginning of the day routine, biking to work and trying not to get hit by cars. After getting on his bike, exactly three steps to get up the little stairs to the door, unlocking the door with both hands on the key, flicking on the light sw—

Oh my fucking god.

Fanboy and chum chum were already in the fucking store.

Fanboy was sitting on the counter, swinging his feet, and when the door jingled as lenny entered he turned and waved. Chum chum was trying on pairs of sunglasses.

"Aren't—arent you guys supposed to be at school?" Lenny wasnt necessarily startled, but he really just wanted to ignore them and move on.

Chum chum looked up at him with a pair of purple and green striped glasses on. "We stole kyles magic thingy and filled the school with pictures of piles of slime. Mr mufflin really hates slime," he added helpfully.

Lenny rubbed his temples. It was too early for this in every way.

"Look," lenny tried, "boog doesnt EVER get here on time. If you really wanted to do this you really couldve—"

"Ok," fanboy reached out. "You got games on your phone?"

Five hours later, boog finally entered the store.

"What the fuck is up, sluts," he said, bopping fanboy and chum chum and walking to chimp chomp.

Fanboy and chum chum looked meaningfully into lennys eyes.

"Urgh, oh god, ugh, no—" he groaned and tried to get a grip on something, but no matter the effort he put in, the two boys swept behind him and started pushing him to boog. "Look, i dont think this is a good plan, at all," he swung his arms around, but quickly he was face to face with boog.

"Wow, dude, how were you walking without using your feet," boog said over his shoulder.

Behind lenny, fanboy and chum chum were giggling and insisting in whispered giggles that lenny tell him.

Lenny had really hoped they would forget this plan. It wasnt even a plan, it was really just a basic outline of an idea.

"Oh, uh, hey boog," lenny tried, and boog simply grunted. "I was just wondering, y'know, if you would," lenny paused, glancing behind him, and fanboy and chum chum gestured for him to go on, "uhh," he frowned, "work more hours?"

"No."

"Hahahaha okay!" Lenny dashed back to the counter, and fanboy and chum chum hung their heads, trudging back to him.

Lenny was facedown on the countertop, wailing.

Chum chum poked at his head. "Why didnt ya say anything?"

Lenny raised his head, groaning. "Uughhhrhgggghh!!! IT ISNT THAT EAAAAASY!!!!" He raised his hopes up a little with the plan, but fanboy and chum chum were, as always, just kind of annoying.

"Hmmm, we'll have to add this to our lexicon of love facts," fanboy mused to chum chum. Lenny shooed them away, not even bothering to tell them that wasnt what lexicon meant.

An hour before closing, lenny was confronted by boog with a purpose.

"Hey bro," boog started, and lenny got a tad optimistic, "wanna smoke behind the counter?"

Lenny grumbled. He was in the middle of stacking boxes of cereal. "No." He paused for a moment, looking away. "Yes."

Before long, lenny was rambling on about how his professors were assholes and programming things that boog didn't care about. Boog had dropped out of college after two days, and kept telling lenny he was boring and lame when he was high.

"Like, mr slugshit, he came up to me and told me hed spilled coffee on my paper, so i had to like reprint it. But just MINE, just MY paper, like how's that even possib—"

"Hey man, wanna go on a date?" Boog interrupted.

Lenny stopped in his tracks, crushing the joint in his hand. "Huh?"

"Cos like, we live together, and we aint never been on a date before. Isn't that kinda fucked up?" Boog took a drag.

Lenny cocked his head. "But we're not dating—"

Boog looked dismayed. "We're not dating??—"

"We can be," lenny leaned back, sort of puffing at the remainder of his now handful of weed.

Boog grinned. "Knew youd come around someday."

"Hey what the fuck does that mean—"


End file.
